The idea that only women face sexual related problems as they age is absolutely false. Men also experience a myriad of sexual issues after 50. In this article we will dispel the myths and factually look at what a man should expect after 50. At least one thing remains constant despite age; men still have the ability to enjoy erotic pleasure. It is all the other aspects of lovemaking that become different. Before we begin, let us make it clear that just because is not how it used to be does not mean it will be bad.
Here are 5 important things every man needs to know about sex after 50 years old…
Some key things will change
For instance your erections will definitely be different. After the age of 40 and certainly by the time you are 50, erections happen slowly not automatic as when you are in your 20s and 30s. After 50, sexual fantasies are not enough to turn you on. You will need fondling for quite some time before attaining a hard erection. Additionally, after 50 expect to suffer wilting and lose firmness from miniature distractions such as a phone ringing.
Sadly, most men mistake these changes with Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and this depresses them which only exacerbate the situation. Stress and anxiety will constrict the arteries that help carry blood into the penile chamber. Sexual therapist Dr Marty Klein advises men to relax and request their sexual partners for what excites them. Spending time mourning what you have lost will only make the situation worse.
There are things that will stay the same
A landmark study carried out by the University of Chicago showed that close to a third of men between the ages of 18 and 49 complain about PE (premature ejaculation). When you get older climaxing to soon remains an issue provided your penis is too over stimulated. A subsequent survey that was a follow up to the study showed that PE will affect over 30% men in their 50s. It gets better with age because from 65to70 only 27% of men suffer from PE. Premature ejaculation declines with age.
There are two main cause of premature ejaculation;
- Overstimulation of the penis
- Anxiety-stimulates the nervous system to trigger ejaculation
Younger men are anxious about sex because they grapple with issues such as; will she really let me? Will I be able to do this? On the other hand older men have anxieties such as will I stay hard long enough? Will I be able to please her?
Additionally, as a generation our sexual culture is too insistent on intercourse which makes men of all ages falsely believe that pleasure can only be achieved in the penis. Reputable sex therapist and male reproduction expert Linda Alperstein advises older men suffering from PE to focus and embrace leisurely whole-body-touching that arouses your entire body, calms and relaxes the mind. This is because taking the pressure of the penis will substantially reduce the risk of premature ejaculation.
The main attraction can change after 50
When most men think about sex, what comes to mind first is intercourse. However, after the reproductive years this main attraction will become an issue. This is because as you get older erections become iffy and Erectile Dysfunction also becomes increasingly prevalent. On theother hand older women develop atrophy which is the thinning of the vaginal walls and vaginal dryness even when lubricant is used. Knowledgeable sex experts advise older couples to focus on outer-course (whole body massage), playing with sex toys and also oral sex. With creative outer-course there is no doubt that you can enjoy extremely sensual and orgasmic sex even without penetration.
Contrary to common misconception, your only option is not over-reliance on Erectile Dysfunction Drugs
The misconception that older men must pop erection pills regularly does not have to be your reality. Most men actually try them and soon give them up because of side effects. As you get older your body can only take so much without damage to your blood vessels and your heart. It means that as intercourse fades away, a man does not really need erection so there is no need to be dependent on erection pills.
The amazing thing about getting older is that men and women are more in sync
In their twenties and thirties, men are aroused much faster than women and this makes younger women complain about an unsatisfactory and selfish sex life ‘he is done even before I get started’. Older men take much longer to get turned on. Although the transition from quick to slow arousal can be frustrating and disconcerting, this transforms sexual discord into sexual harmony with your partner.
Nature has a way of balancing out things. Both men and women experience sexual changes as they get older. Change does not mean you cannot enjoy sex anymore, it only means you need to readjust and find a creative way to enjoy sex and achieve intimacy.